• A friend and I are about to watch Doctor Who. The theme tune starts, and we both start singing it.
• Him: You know, this music is completely you. Every time I walk into your place, whether or not we're watching it, I just hear this theme music play. It's the soundtrack surrounding you.
• Me: Ha! Nothing could make me happier.
• Him: Yeah, well. You're Doctor Who and tea and books and nice candle-lit dinners and cookies and hugs and swear words. And salads! You always make awesome salads.
• I glance at him: Graduation nostalgia's bitten you in the ass, huh?
• Him: Yes. Shut up. But it's true.

Giving a friend dating advice

• Me: Make sure you don't do your usual shtick.
• Him: What's my usual shtick?
• Me: You know, you go out with the guy, and pretty soon you're treating him like a friend, he thinks that's where your head is at, and suddenly it's not a date anymore.
• Him: Okay, maybe I occasionally do that. How should I act, then?
• Me: Make it clear it's a date from the get-go. Tell him he looks good, maybe grab his hand when you two are walking.
• Him: Woah, woah. Grab his hand? That's a bit much.
• Me: Mounting him in the street is a bit much. Taking his fucking hand is not. Just be forward! You asked him out and it worked.
• Him: That's true. So what you're saying is I should act like a self-confident, arrogant bastard, and only then will I achieve the level regular folks are at?
• Me: That's exactly what I'm saying.

Walking along with a friend,

• He says, sounding really confused: Why do you look so nice? Are you going somewhere after this?
• Me: Excuse me?
• Him: Are you going somewhere after the play? Do you have a date?
• Me: Is there a compliment in there somewhere? Are you trying to say I look nice?
• Him, abstractly: What? Oh, yes. You do.
• I laugh: Here's an idea, lead with the compliment next time. And don't sound so shocked when you tell a woman she looks good.
• Him, shrugging: It's not -- I just noticed and wondered why. It came out in the wrong order. So you don't have a date?
• Me: Again, you sound surprised. No, I don't have a date afterwards. The dress code is 1950s, so I just dressed up a little.
• Him: Oh. Okay. *a couple of minutes later, he shoves me a little* Hey, Laala?
• Me: Mmhm?
• Him: You do look good. Just a little, though.

• Me, to a friend of mine: I'm getting better at whistling!
• Him, excited: Whistle for me! *I whistle* That's better, but you're still abysmal. Our lessons are going to continue.
• His girlfriend: You two are fucking weird.

• A lecturer (who I know by face but not by name) was running around the building trying to get stuff done today (seriously sprinting fast), and he kept bumping into me and apologising. After the third time, I called out after him.
• Me: You run as if the very whip of your master was behind you.
• He came barrelling back down the stairs, took me by the shoulders, and said: Why are you in none of my classes?

Talking to a friend about what to do after graduation.

• Him: I'm thinking of just saying fuck it, moving to London, and becoming a stereotype.
• Me: Well, I can't currently decide what to do, so tell you what: if you move to London, I'll move to London.
• Him: This plan of yours needs work.
• Me: It's more reasonable than yours -- at least I have a place there. I'm also thinking of moving to Paris and learning French at the Sorbonne. Get a diploma or something.
• Him: I want to move to Paris too! Okay, new plan, moving to Paris. Or Lyon. Yes, that's a good idea.
• Me: Why, just because I made you think of it?
• Him: More or less.
• Me: This plan of yours needs work.

• Me (to a good friend): You look like the love child of Tony Blair and Stephen Fry.
• Him: I'm sure I'm meant to be offended, but I'm too busy picturing Stephen Fry fucking Tony Blair.

• A guy sitting behind me in the library to his friend: See, I told you I couldn't study in the library.
• His friend: Why on earth not?
• Guy: I glance up at some point and I fall in love temporarily with the girl sitting opposite me. Sometimes it happens more than once.